Are you ready? 'Cause it is here...and we have to prepare! What? You are not sure what I'm referring to? Celebrity news, of course, with teen celebrity news adding that extra twist to our lives as parents in the real world.
No denying that 2007 was a doosie for teen celebrity news. Having 10 and 13 year old daughters at home, my husband and I could use a break. The questions and issues raised towards the end of 2007 pushed our parental Q&A data center to the max, as well as our "calm and try not to over react" matrix.
I have to admit, I thought I was in safe waters after the Vanessa naked picture story came and went. Naked now seems like nothing compared to the stories that followed of teen stars partying 'till they dropped (or got arrested), head shaving, custody battles, jail house woes, to name a few. But, even those all seem tame compared to the year ending show stopper:teen pregnancy of a much adored star: Jamie Lynn Spears.
Before I go on, let's get on the same page about tweens, particularly 10 year olds in 5th grade. They know more about the birds and bees than you may think thanks to their friends and older siblings. While they may not know the actual details and all the facts, believe me they have the big picture! Keep in mind, this is typically the year that most elementary schools teach reproduction and early sex ed...and is the year before middle school in most communities.
So, I was only partially shocked when my 10 year old daughter learned about Jamie Lynn's "predicament" and calmly stated: "they should have used protection." I quickly put on my best "calm" demeanor and asked the next obvious question "Protection? What is that?" My daughter looked at me almost annoyed and said: "Mom, EVERYONE knows about THAT - it's how you make babies not happen. That's all I know." And, that was good enough for me.
The next question she asked, however, we didn't know how to answer: "Why didn't Jamie Lynn know about protection?" She was satisfied with "teens do dumb things and it's possible her mom didn't really talk to her about this stuff." Since then, her focus has been very appropriately on what will happen to Zoey 101.
Some of you may be surprised by my daughter's questions but as I mentioned kids pick this stuff up. But, with any of our kids, that is now what is important. What is important is our reaction to their questions and our ability to answer them in a way that keeps them coming back with more questions. If we become too rigid or judgmental, they'll run and get their answers from someone els.
The other element of this picture is to help our kids see the difference between our world, the real world, and the "real" world of the celebrities they idolize. I try to get my girls to see that their idols are in a way always in a show and always "on". Their lives are very similar to the sit-coms they are hired for and really the best "reality tv" on air today, and for a fraction of the production cost of the scheduled shows!
Celebrity news like this always sparks some great articles on how to talk to kids about difficult topics. One of my favorites is from last December's Newsweek. Author Kathleen Deveny hits the nail on the head about celebrity news and kids in her last paragraph:
"So I vow not to bring the subject up with my daughter, and if she brings it up with me I will try to find out what she thinks about it. I will try not to be harsh or judgmental about Ms. Spears, because I want my daughter to feel like she can talk to me about anything. I will use the opportunity to discuss with her the difference between an actor, a real person and the roles they play. I will talk to her about what happens when you're so famous. I will tell her that it's really hard for parents to watch over celebrity kids. That when kids are really famous they're often allowed to act like someone much older than they are and it becomes very hard for their parents to protect them...."
So, as 2008 gets more underway, put on your best "I'm hear if you want to talk" ears. Practice your best sounding board pose...and get ready for another year of celebrity news. Who knows what we are in for next!
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