Why family meals need to be on your plate

I grew up with family meals as did my husband. But we both recall times when it was kids and mom and dad was added later; or when the big family time was reserved for weekends – although that often involved grandparents. But, it seems lately that many families reserve holidays for those sorts of meals, such as the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday.

In 2005, Miriam Weinstein wrote a book called The Surprising Power of Family Meals. I have to admit time has not allowed me to read it cover to cover yet but that does not lesson the impact of having it sit on my shelf next to the “Ready, Set, Relax” folder. Ready, Set, Relax is a cool idea spawned by some New Jersey families tired of all the hustle and bustle of modern family life. Each year since 2002 Ridgewood, N.J., this community has taken a time out together. I loved this concept so much I floated the idea by folks in my town including the PTO but was told everyone was too busy for a day off. I found that amusing and sad at the same time and a telling sign of our times.

For each of us, the question to ask is this: can we actually have a family moment at the table sometime during the day, or at least a few times a week? You bet! The key to success is not defining ourselves by Normal Rockwell standards. Most of the families I know, including my own, have such odd schedules that they are all thankful if they are home at the same time at some point during the day while everyone is awake.

There are many ways to have a family meal during the school and work week. You can have a family breakfast. For families with small kids or who have a parent who comes home late, have everyone eat dinner together who is home but then site again when the other parent returns. We often eat our dessert at the table when my husband has his dinner. As for a true family meal, reality may dictate that we all do this on weekends but make sure it gets done. Lately we’ve been having a consistent family meal on Friday nights where we all come together and cook. We keep TV and computers off, refuse to answer the phone and actually set the table with candles. It has become a fun way to end the week and a great way to reconnect.

Weinstein agrees. As noted in the Washington Post, she notes:

"Although I have spent this book ranting about supper, you may have noticed that, underneath it all, supper is not really the point. Supper is only the occasion, the excuse. The subject is actually family -- establishing, enjoying, and maintaining ties. The goal is creating and reinforcing a secure place for your loved ones in a society that can seem awfully uninterested in human needs."

And, she has research on her side that demonstrates that in families who eat together there are less teens with eating disorders and drug and alcohol abuse. Here are some interesting links for more information and opinions:

Benefits of family meals from project EAT
Family meals help prevent eating disorders
Making family meals happen

So, as 2007 winds down and 2008 approaches, look at your family life and try to niche out weekly, if not daily, family food times. It is a habit worth forming and one none of you will want to break once it kicks in!

I must go now - I have a table to set and ingredients to buy. Bon Appetite!