A Lesson From The Bad News Bears

My daughter's softball season ended yesterday. Talk about a season of ups and downs. This experience embodied everything good and bad about youth sports today. But, in the end, will she do it again? You bet. There was just enough good to out weight the bad...and some of us need a vacation because of the energy it too to pull that off!

Her team was what you want on a middle school youth sports team. A bunch of kids around the same age and skill who were all there because they wanted to play and learn the game. Coaches, all dads, with experience coaching as well as playing who understood the developmental aspects of the game and were able to put parameters in place to reel in the girls who became too intense and gently nudge the girls who needed a bit of a push. The coaching and developmental issues of the game are the make and break aspects of youth sports today. I talked about that recently in Parents and Kids.

The mission of our girls town league, which includes baseball is simple. According to their handbook, they strive to teach kids of all abilities; teach fundamentals and rules; emphasize sportsmanship, teamwork and safety. I have t0 say, they do a good job meeting this mission.

The district league, on the other hand, is a different story. The league consists of two neighboring towns whose softball programs are a bit older and more organized than ours. On paper, the programs seem to be similar in philosophy but a couple weeks into the season we were clearly out matched. The teams are very slanted to the 8th graders while the 6th and 7th graders sit on the bench. The 8th graders are allowed to also play for their school teams while our 8th graders have play for one or the other. And, the other town's kids have been together for years at the same positions, while for our kids this is their first season together. So, while our kids were still figuring out how to make a play, these kids had the plays internalized and had the muscle memory already. And, they were 2 years older.

Of note, the few games where the away 8th graders were missing due to conflicts, our girls had great experiences and some well matched games occurred with good plays and even scores.

There were also some rules that were hard to interpret which our coaches had issues with. I'll leave this alone for now except to say that these are kids learning a game. The rules should be simple and fair. And, the should be structured in a way that allows a game...not just balls to be hit and bases to be run.

I've talked a great deal in the past about the black box of puberty. What we saw played out during this season was just that. Our girls team alone represented that black box. Similarly, on the other teams, there were kids past puberty whose bodies had caught up and could not build muscle. It is well documented that there is no correlation between prepubertal and postpubertal sports success. So, parents, stop pushing your young athletes. The goal is fun early on! Plus, kids can really get hurt while puberty is progressing is pushed too hard the wrong way.

As for my daughter's team, fun and individual goals was what we had to go for given the score card. It would have been fantastic if our girls had won a game but it was not meant to be. But, you know, in the end it didn't matter. These girls became a team and developed a spark that honestly was missing from the other teams whose only mission was to win. Here's an example:

One player, a very cute girl who had never played softball before, kept striking out. She was very petite and just holding the bat took all her strength. About 6 games into the 8 game season, she went to the plate, swung at the first pitch, and POW! That ball when flying over the head of the pitcher. The entire bench of girls was on their feet in a second with cheers, chaps and whoops! You would have thought she had just drove in the winning won for the World Series! You know, in a sense she had...for herself - and her teammates and coaches, and us moms on the sideline holding our breathe as she came to the plate, knew it.

I bumped into one of the coaches' wives a week later and that girl's mom told her that her daughter now dreams of being the best softball player in the world. This is no giant kid but give her a few years and you never know. That's the point, isn't it...these are only 12 year old girls.

Will they get here?



I have no idea. That's not something I think about and nor should you. We have to let them finish puberty first, get through high school, and see what unfolds. There are a lot of variables. But, I do know this. Many of these girls are still destined for sports greatness. They proved that already.

What about the score card and record you ask? Believe it or not, while the girls would have loved to have won a game, after all they are kids, they were not as crushed as some of their parents. That right there tells you everything you need to know with what is wrong - and right - with youth sports today. I still have parents asking me if my daughter is "upset" over her team's performance that season - they just don't get it!

By the way, sports parents, if you haven't seen it, the American Academy of Pediatrics has hot off the press new sports guidelines that are likely very different than what your kids are doing. Perhaps something to consider for the next school year?

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