If Pedroia can miss a ball game, so can your kids!

 

This week Dustin Pedroia, the 09 AL MVP, was MIA from the roster of the Boston Red Sox Vs. Oakland games because of a “family matter”. It turns out his wife, Kelli, is expecting their first child and went into preterm labor at 7 months. With the blessing of his team and manager, Terry Francona, Petroia spent the night in the hospital with his wife.

Francona noted that “There was no other choice – being with Kelly was where Dustin had to be.” He recalled during the press conference that his own wife still is miffed for his missing one of his daughter’s births for a ball game almost 22 years ago. He wasn’t going going to let Dustin make that same mistake.

This isn’t the first time Red Sox players have missed games for family reasons. JD Drew missed a few games when one of his kids was sick and Jason Bay missed a game when his wife delivered one of his kids. Those were the right decisions and a message to us all that sometimes, many times, the game is secondary, even at the pro level.

It wasn’t always this way. The old school way of playing, which cost Francona being at his daughter’s birth, was painful for a lot of players personally who still feel the sting of those moments.

However, for our young players, the old mentality of game before family exists all too often costing young players family time for the sake of the game.  It’s time that changes, especially since the pro world model is to put family first.

As the summer leagues roll on and molt into a new school year of school sports seasons, don’t get caught up in the hype of “game before family”. I see too many families prioritizing sports before family for situations that do not merit those choices. As memories fade over time, the memory of the game will pale compared to the sting you and your young player will feel for having missed the family event – whatever it may be. It’s simply not worth it.

Good coaches and sports administrators get this and will support a young athlete missing a game (or practice) for important family reasons without penalty. Use that as your litmus as you weigh with your child the teams to devote time to and the teams that may be better off leaving behind.

The old style of game before family was barely tolerable in the pros and rationalized by the big bucks and glory. Our kids are playing for the fun of it, their development and self esteem. Many times, those attributes are developed best off the field with family and that’s what we all have to remember. And, we have to be ever mindful that this is childhood and in the end it’s only a game.

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Michael Jackson’s Memorial: his children and his music are the only legacies that really matter

 

Watching Michael Jackson’s memorial yesterday was surreal at times. Not knowing what to expect, I think many were a bit disarmed by how respectful people were and how heart-felt it ended up being. It was a moving tribute to a man who clearly touched many around the world with his music, dance and energy in different ways.

The fans, celebrities, family and friends who were spoke, sung and were interviewed gave a unified and positive message about the impact that Michael Jackson had on their lives and the world. The outliers were the main media trying in vain to dig for dirt that either isn’t there, that no one cares about or that simply may not matter given the impact of his music on so many people.

There’s no denying how troubled elements of Jackson’s life were. We may never really have all the details or understand what lead to his death but it may not be for us to understand. Just because he was a mega-star and in the public eye at times doesn’t give us the right to assume we are owed knowing everything. In life, he was fiercely protective of his privacy. In death, his family and friends are all fiercely protective of his privacy. Frankly, that’s the way it should be and for the sake of his family and his kids it’s time the mainstream media moved on until actual details are known and released by the family…if they opt to do so.

What’s interesting is that only the mainstream media seem to care about getting the answers to those unanswered questions about Jackon’s life. The rest of the world is content to just celebrate his music and the many musical gifts he gave to the world. You only had to look at the images shown on TV yesterday to see and feel Jackson’s impact around the globe and understand that.  Someday, those images are what will help his children heal and that’s what matters more than anything else.

There has been a great deal of talk about Jackson’s children. Watching Jackson’s children yesterday, I was struck by their poise. That type of poise only comes from being much loved and well raised. Those were not images of oddities or wild children but images of normal children in deep emotional pain, surrounded by a family they are obviously comfortable with and who loves them very much.

Paris was  as eloquent as a child could be saying goodbye to her beloved dad in front of so many people. In fact, just to be able to do that shows how much self-confidence Jackson instilled in her. His eccentricities aside, he clearly did something right with those kids.

I’ll never forget little Paris saying: "Ever since I was born, daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine. And I just want to say that I love him so much.” 

Brooke Shield’s said Jackson’s favorite song was “Smile”. I have no doubt Michael was doing that with a tear in his eye as Paris was talking…very proud. What a legacy to leave behind.

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Star Trek and Health 2.0: a model for health reform?

 

One of my favorite summer activities is watching reruns of Star Trek Next Generation. It’s become somewhat of a summer tradition in my family the last few summers. Having become trekkies themselves, my kids were able to very much enjoy the recent movie, and get the history and lore behind it. 

The longevity of the Star Trek enterprise is fascinating. Decades after it’s first launch, it still captures the imagination of inquiring minds and still provides endless hours of entertainment to viewers of all ages.

Even more amazing than the longevity of it’s run is the technology it represents. When the show first debuted, the sci fi components seemed truly out of reach. Today, much of the technology in the new movie and even some of the older shows doesn’t seem that implausible, especially when it comes to health.

Early Trek was a preview of our current Health 2.0 world. When first portrayed, that was not a concept any of us could grasp.  Think about it. In the original series, and continuing through to the latest movie, they used communicators in high tech ways with online computers to search data bases and emails and video calls to talk between doctors at different inter-stellar locations. The doctors even had high tech gizmos to look inside and offer a 3-d look within. All medical records were online and available anywhere. New advances in medicine came from experience, science as well as other cultures and the experience of the treating physician. Patients and doctors could review information online and use that to improve their own care.

What wasn’t so out of reach was the portrayal of the practice of medicine and the limitations of what the human physician could achieve. The bedside manner was always first and foremost the key element to a patient’s survival. The physician treated all patients, regardless of species, and had tolerance for different cultural beliefs in treatment. And, not all patients made it through their ordeal. After all, the doctor was “just a man, not a miracle worker”.

So, Trek’s docs were all health 2.0 with a healthy dose of health 1.0 in that they had these important features:

1. high tech gizmos and computers to diagnose and treat
2. traditional docs to take a history and offer counsel but computerized medical records
3. limits on what could be done
4. online communication with “Googling” ability
5. New advances and lessons from other species to tackle new issues and problems

Sounds a great deal like our health system, minus the insurance headaches, huh?

The practice of medicine is begging to be more health 2.0 but with doctors who very much want and need to be involved and keep their health 1.0 skills. Today we have gizmos that keep becoming more high tech…think robotic surgeons. Today we have doctors still driving clinical care with bedside manner still crucial to the success of an outcome. Today we still have limits of what can and can not be done, with a limit of human life, regardless of our efforts to prolong it. Today we have very robust online communication between doctors, between patients, between doctors and patients, and between everyone and the computer, but with an importance still placed on the face-to-face visit.

There’s one big difference between the docs on Trek and us…insurance. Because of that, what we see on Trek is still just a dream. Those docs can do their jobs so admirably and with great patient satisfaction because they are not burdened with an insurance system gone awry and not forced into cycles of defensive medical practices.

Until health reform sorts out how to allow us to have a patient-focused, physician driven system again, what we see on Trek will remain a dream. What’s sad and discouraging is that is this is one sci fi dream that is actually within reach. Don’t you think it’s time we stopped the insurance companies from preventing us from grabbing on?

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Kids In The Spot Light: being a help, not a hindrance

During an end of the year recital, I couldn’t help notice the interaction between one of the mothers and her daughter, who happened to be one of the younger performers that day – older preschool, preK sort of age.

The little girl seemed shy but very excited. She was showing no signs of stage fright and was calmly sitting on a couch taking in the scene. Her mom, on the other hand, was nervously fidgeting with her hair, the music book, the bow on the girl’s dress.

The teacher of this music school is quite experienced and has been putting on recitals for over 2 decades now. She had the program scheduled in a way that the little girl would perform her piece after two of the other children, just a little older than herself. I thought this was brilliant. It was a way to show the little girl that kids were having fun and there was no reason to be nervous.

When it was the little girl’s turn, the teacher gave her a smile and a waved her forward with a gentle flowing hand motion. She stood by the audience while the little girl came forward. Now, I should mention, this recital was occurring in the teacher’s home so the situation was very calm and homey to start.

To my surprise, not only did the little girl come forward, but her mom, nervously grabbing the little girl’s hand. The teacher put her hands gently on the little girl’s shoulders and walked her to the piano and sat next to her. I figured at this point, her mom would come back to where the other parents were sitting and just let the teacher do her thing. Instead, she stood by the piano, sort of hovering during the entire piece. Given none of the other parents had gone up with their kids, it was clear having her mom up there by the piano confused the little girl a bit. The teacher just whispered in her ear, the girl smiled and beautiful, cute music began.

The little girl was very proud of herself! The mom still looked nervous and couldn’t take her hands off the little girl even after her part of the recital was over.

This mom was obviously a loving mom and very much wanted her daughter to do well. What she missed was the fact that her daughter didn’t need the hovering and could have negotiated the event just fine with the teacher’s help alone.

We all worry about our kids during performances. I still hold my breathe at times and my kids are in middle school and one about to go to high school! When they were little, we had a few moments of stage fright that the teachers handled beautifully and let us know when to come up and help. That helped us, as parents trying to figure out our role in this stage world, and our kids trying to gain experience and confidence in a strange situation…doing something they love but with all these eyeballs they didn’t know looking at them.

So, next time your kids take part in a recital, let go of the reins. The teacher will pull you in if needed. This is healthy for you…and your budding ballerina, Mozart, or Beyonce!

Oh…one more thing. Please stay until the end of the performance. It isn’t fair to the kids scheduled at the end to have kids who perform early leave. That gives kids the wrong message about what it is to be a performer and a member of the audience. They all work hard and all deserve our upmost attention.

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Keep the blasting to the experts this 4th of July!

I love 4th of July - it is truly one of my favorite holidays with fireworks, people gathering with their families and the Boston Pops playing on the Esplanade in Boston. Whether we venture into the city to gather with the crowds or watch the event from home, everyone ends up going to bed happily exhausted.

For an ER doc, though, 4th of July is also one of the more hazardous holidays to work, and think about. A year ago, I posted a few 4th of July fireworks stories from my life, one of which was of a child I cared for in the ER. I can't get through the holiday without thinking about these kids and the countless others I've seen over the years with fireworks-related injuries.

The National Fire Protection Association, reports that "(i)n 2007, U.S. hospital emergency rooms treated an estimated 9,800 people for fireworks related injuries; 56% of 2007 emergency room fireworks-related injuries were to the extremities and 36% were to the head." And, that "(t)he risk of fireworks injury was two-and-a-half times as high for children ages 5-9 or 10-14 as for the general population."

Because of this enormous risk to kids, the American Academy of Pediatrics urges parents to not buy fireworks for kids but gather at public places where fireworks are set off by professionals.

We teach our kids to not play with fire. If we want that lesson to sink in, we have to follow it, too. Leave the lighting of things that go boom and light up the sky this 4th of July to the real pros. You'll enjoy the holiday much more from the vantage point of the crowd and not some ER watching on a small TV, waiting for your injured child to be tended to.

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Take it slow this summer: it’s your family’s off season!

 

I used to feel guilty when I would say “no thanks” but not any more. I no longer by the line:  “Ok…but you do know she might get behind…many of the other kids do continue for the summer.”

I’m ok with it…and so are my kids. And, you know what, not once have they “fallen behind” in any of their activities, even the ones they are at the top of their game on, in sports or in the arts.

It’s a myth that the sports world is the only world with year ‘round pressure. The music and arts worlds have it, too. Those worlds, in fact, can be more insidious about it because it’s done under the guise of “enrichment” and “culture”. The 24/7 wear and tear on our kids bodies, minds, and souls is, nonetheless, the same as with a ‘year round sport and it’s time music, dance and other fine arts parents recognize that their kids, too, need an off season.

The way to look at it is that any school year after school activity that occupies a great deal of time and focus and goes on for most of the school year, or more than 1 celestial season, requires an offseason. The model is in the pro worlds. Pro athletes get off seasons and professional dancers and musicians do take breaks from the intense rigor of their professional season.

Our children have 1 childhood and only so much time in it to explore themselves and pursue activities that interest them. Given how much of the school year’s schedule is dictated by adults, the summer is the best time to hand over the reins to our kids and find out what they want to do and make it happen. The summer is the most perfect time to spread wings and try on something new, something that they may have had to shelve by necessity during the school year.

So, don’t buy into the “she’ll get behind” line – in sports or in the arts. Give your kids the off season this summer they deserve. Just like the off season in the pro worlds, kids use the time so productively that by the time they return to their beloved passions, they have a new found energy, zeal and focus. The rust will come off amazingly quickly and they’ll surge ahead again as if the summer never occurred.

Why not just keep on going, you ask? You could…but you may end up turning an activity your kids love into a complete grind and burn them out entirely. Plus, injury rates increase dramatically in sports and the arts when kids don’t have a break. Musicians and dancers put wear and tear on their bodies just like athletes, but with different muscle groups. Those areas of their bodies need to rest and rehab, in addition to their minds and souls having a chance to not focus so intensely for a while.

Childhood isn’t about specialization, it’s about variety. We’ve forgotten that along the way, and our kids’ bodies and spirits are paying a steep price.

For more information:

Why kids need an off-season
Just Let Them Play
Overuse Injury Guide

Cracking The Autism Riddle: Common Sense About Vaccines And Autism

As a pediatrician, I can attest that all of us take an oath to do no harm when we graduate medical school and we continue to uphold that oath with everything we promote for the health and well being of children, including universal vaccination. Studies are clear that the vaccines are safe and that they do not cause autism. If people would think more with their minds and not their emotions, I truly believe they would start becoming more able to believe that.



It's important to note three other issues.



First, without vaccination, the illnesses that we've worked so hard to combat will return, as we are seeing now with measles. Remember that vaccine preventable illnesses have no cure and cause horrible disability and death. Do we want to return to those times?



Second, you can rest assured that no one is using any child as a "guinea pig", as one commenter put it. This isn't a live experiment going on...it's public health and disease prevention.



Finally, there is an inherent risk of side effects with any medication but that doesn't mean to not give it. The benefits of vaccinating out weight the risks of reaction, just like when you take any medication such as over the counters or an antibiotic.



Keep in mind that all parents love their kids. The issue at hand is without vaccines on board it isn't a matter of if a child will contract one of these horrible vaccine-preventable illnesses, but when.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

“An Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor Away”…if it’s unplugged!

 

WebMD published a great list called “6 Health Mistakes Smart People Make” that really does apply to all of us. The list includes:

1. drinking diet soda to shed pounds
2. not getting a second opinion for major medical issues
3. stopping antidepressants “cold turkey”
4. skipping follow-ups
5. taking too much acetaminophen (AKA Tylenol)
6. drinking too much alcohol in one sitting

Let’s face it…we’ve all been guilty of some items on this list at one point in time or another. Paying more attention to these items really will improve our health in a multitude of ways.

This is a great list but what is more likely to harm us and perhaps even kill us is our constant distractibility caused by technology. We have to pay as much attention to our high tech habits as we do our over all health habits if we truly want to be healthy and live long, happy, injury-free lives.

In addition to the WebMD list, consider this list I put together of “6 mistakes smart people make with technology every day”:

1. Talking on the cell phone or texting while driving.
2. Reading a newspaper or putting on make-up while driving.
3. Googling for health information when we are worried instead of reaching out to our health care providers.
4. Listening to our MP3 devices while running, walking or driving so loud we can’t hear outside noises.
5. Using technology when we should be watching our kids – who may be outside or in a pool or just mulling about the house.
6. Relying on the advice of “online friends” we’ve never met over real friends, family and our own health care providers.

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away” used to be wise words to live by…and still is as long as the “Apple” we’re discussing doesn’t come with ear buds.

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